Its ok to say goodbye…

This year I have been trying to push my limits. Get out of my comfort zone. 

This year I have also been trying to remove negative people. It has been difficult. Some i have been friends with for almost half, if not most of my life. 

There was one friend I was afraid of losing above everyone else due to the fact that a kid was involved. Our friendship went through a rough patch a few years ago and ive been trying to make it work. But I found that whenever her name appeared, my anxiety increased. Even if the conversation was pleasant. I kept waiting for it to turn into something else. 

We got into a fight a couple of weeks ago. I decided to take a break from her and facebook. That was the main way she contacted me, so I deacivated it so I knew I couldnt get messages. That week, I went from being seriously depressed to, somewhat genuinely happy.

I reactivated it, and as soon as I saw her name…just due to her liking someone else’s status. She didn’t comment and it wasnt her own status. I instantly noticed how on edge I was. My anxiety went right back to before I deactivated it. 

That’s when I realized how much of an impact I let her have on me. That the friendship was that negative. I made the choice to block her. Friends for 15 years, over in one second. One click.

It has been a week since I made that choice. I feel good again. Good things started happening. A mutual friend of ours told me its a sign that her and I should not be friends. 

It is ok to say goodbye to those toxic relationships. If things are going bad in your life, you must be honest with yourself. Are you letting others empact you? You can care about your friends lives but at some point you have to find the line between caring and taking on their problems as yours. 

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