I have attempted online dating on and off for YEARS! I have gone on a few dates but for the most part it has been one of the most negative experiences in my life and contributes to a lot of my low self esteem. I have several friends who married someone they met through a dating site so I knew it was possible.
From those I have talked to not many have had the experiences I have. I have been stalked, told I deserve to die and that I deserve to be raped and beaten. Now before the guys have said those things to me I told them I’m not an easy lay and don’t sleep with someone on a first date. To me sex means something. And catfished. I have also been catfished.
I have used every free dating site I could find. I have been debating on subscribing to match.com or eharmony. Are there any success stories out there someone could share with me? Does anyone recommend these sites? Are there others I should try instead?
Beautiful Metamorphosis 
I met my husband on a dating site. Prior to meeting him, I didn’t date or went to prom. I didn’t have a boyfriend as a teenager and just got into the dating scene later during my University years. Not all dates from the online community will be good experiences, but this also applies to “normal” dating. Avoid Meet Me like the plague. I went on a few dates before meeting my husband. Some were people I knew, others were from dating sites. These guys were not right for me, and I knew in my heart I had to keep searching. I always knew there was someone out there for me, but I had convinced myself that I could be OK as being single, which I now realize was silly. This being said, I did not use the sites you mentioned. I used OKcupid and had positive experiences mostly from using it. Don’t be afraid to fill out the profile – I write A LOT, which was something my husband really liked about me. OKcupid said we were only a 48% match. 😉
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I have a couple of friends who met their husbands online as well. About 6 years ago I used okcupid and had a few dates, they werent bad but there was nothing there. Same with Plentyoffish. This past year I tried using them again. Everything has changed. I get the same horrible messages on almost a daily basis. If I did not have depression and could rely on a happy mood regularly then I would be ok with weeding out those messages. But that’s not the case. Being told almost daily that you’re ugly, no one will ever want you, you deserve to die…those with mental illnesses, these messages stick with them. It doesn’t matter if what they said was out of line or comes out of no where. We already have that tiny voice built into us telling us we are not good enough, no one would notice if we disappeared, no ome wants us. To have strangers confirm what that voice is saying…its beyond not ok.
Online dating use to be for dating! I remember lol now its for hookups. I dont do hookups. I associate sex with emotions, I believe it means something. But when someone finds out I’m using the dating site for dating, I get told I’m in the wrong place for that, go somewhere else. I want to yell YOURE IN THE WRONG PLACE lol
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I’m sorry that you had a bad experience with OKcupid. My husband never treated me with disrespect and accepts my flaws. All humans are flawed so it’s pathetic that someone would sink so low as to call you ugly and other horrible names. Usually these people have issues and feel the need to bring others down – not good people to be around. It’s a good thing that you didn’t settle with them because you deserve better! If your depression is really bad, online may not be the best place to be. The rude people online tend to be worse because people can say whatever crap they want behind a screen.
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I have learned enough about myself to know my limits and how much I can take before I enter my dark place. The world is a scary place and I cant believe how people treat each other now. I am happy for you and that you found someone special! 🙂
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