New day?

New day and I’m trying to think positively but I find it so difficult. Its becoming more difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I woke up hating myself putting myself down. Finally forced my body to get out of bed and feed the cats and jump on the computer to distract myself. 

That was a bad idea lol. Now I want to just disappear and go off grid. But I also wish I had someone to talk to. I wish I didn’t feel like such a burden to others. Was talking to my friend the other day and she said that she noticed I’m different but in a good way, I am more positive. I confessed that I don’t feel different that I still think the same way. That I don’t know if I really am happier or if I’m just trying to fool everyone and trying to convince myself. I was already really good with hiding my depression, but if I got even better at it that’s a little troublesome. 

I’m here trying to get motivation to take a shower (that’s not the depression talking that’s laziness) 


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